did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
