Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
