I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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