whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
