the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
