Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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