Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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