I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
