that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
