but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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