I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Holy shit dude........stairs
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
