He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
What a dumb baby whore.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
