is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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