I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
