my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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