So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I still have a little drunk in my system
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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