I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
