I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
