We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
