Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
