She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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