"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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