I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
