My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
