And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
