Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
