Need sex. Gaining weight.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
is that a dick in a sweater?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
