I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
