Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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