i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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