He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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