I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
