i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
