how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
