yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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