i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
