I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
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