yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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