Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
