Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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