so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
