My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
a search helicopter?!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
