I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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