he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
