he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
