so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
