Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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