Do vagina's smell?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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