OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
