First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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